..Like a Baby's Name

"M-E-G-G-I-E".
"Yes, Maggie, but with an "e" instead".
"Ah.. Meeggie.. sounds like Mickey.."
The drama over my name for as long as i can remember. The drama, confusion, intrigue, curiosity... simple astonishment sometimes.. "mmmm, tayyeb why?".
Well, let's just say my parents were big fans of a certain movie during the time i was conceived, Thorn Birds, to be precise.. and the heroine of this twisted somewhat disturbing love story went by the name.. you guessed it.. Meggie.
I have grown to love my name, and the different variations of it. I am daddy's Megmoug, and mommy's Megmougo, and my brother's modernized Megz. And of course..  i love being my other half's simple.. Meg.
I am someone who loves names. I take great interest in a person's name. Less than three weeks into the semester, students are amazed at how i call them out one by one, by name... over ninety in total.
I will not lie to you and say that it's a piece of cake memorizing ninety names, i make conscious effort associating each name to each face.. but i enjoy it. It makes things personal.. and that makes everything much easier, whether teaching, learning, or most importantly, respecting.
I have made some very special new friends over the past two months. I have come across a wonderful little family that has embraced me and made me part of it since day one. My new friend, a loving wife and mother, has served like a big sister to me.. gentle, wise, and caring, she has opened my eyes to the world in a whole different way.. and her children.. her children have just reminded me again and again how i long to have little angels of my own sometime soon.
They have filled up my heart.
Over coffee the other day, my new friend and I were discussing the big arrival of her new baby girl. To the world's great fortune, besides the two little angels that she has already put on earth, she is expecting a third one. A third little baby girl.
"I have changed my mind about the name though"
"Ah really?" i sighed with disappointment, "but i already told everyone, and i can picture her with that name. It's perfect"
"I am still sticking with the letter M, like my other two children. But i have decided to name her.. Meggie.. instead."
....
To explain to you what i felt in that exact moment in time, will just bring tears to my eyes. Hearing that name on the lips of an expecting mother, intended for a little angel that i have not met yet, made me want to jump out of my seat and hug her right away.. but i didn't.. i wanted to.. but somehow.. i couldn't.. and now i regret it.
Instead, i felt glued to my seat, breathless.. and in complete and total shock.. the blissful type..
In one word, i felt.. honored. But wondered.. if i even deserved this.. and then, i somehow felt responsible.. Will this baby be as obsessive as me? Will she ruminate over little things and be over-sensitive? Oh no.. will she be bad at mathematics and still count on her fingers at the age of 26?? Will she crave red licorice and everything sweet and spend her childhood at the dentist's clinic.. root canal after root canal.. Oh.. the responsibilities! What if she adopts all my flaws.. i don't want to imagine.
For what it's worth, i just hope she'll love sunflowers.
Although i have been engaged for almost a year, and i will be married in almost another one, i had decided on the names of my future baby angels since i was in high school.. and no, i will not share them here with you, in fear that you will steal them and get to it before me.. But i will share with you that according to the experts, one of them will be "delicate, pure, romantic, and gentle", the other will be "easing-going, fun, and daring".. Ironically, these two names, years later, just happen to describe the different personalities of myself and their future dad.
I never understood the importance of naming a baby after someone before today. I would question this tradition of ours, where we name babies after their grandfathers or after their fathers.. but today, i have discovered that it is truly a remarkable feeling.
It is such a powerful feeling, that it glues you to your chair and leaves you speechless.
It paints a bond between this special angel that you have yet to meet and yourself, and it fills you up with love. Nothing but love.
And i am consumed by it right now.. as i await little Meggie's arrival..
For that day will truly be special.. and the world will hold.. a little more sunshine.. a little more softness.. and a whole lot more love..